Woods of Babble-on

Question The Second

2009-11-18T15:58:00.000-05:00

This one's for vegetarians...

Whenever I pass by the 'Alternative Foods' section in my local supermarket I can't help but notice the tofu... the flavoured tofu... flavoured like meat.

Now, if meat is murder (it really is too), murder must taste pretty darned good to you if you're flavouring your soy product to taste like it. Isn't that just a little hypocritical?

- Dave

PS: You do know that those veggie burgers you can get at restaurants & fast food joints are cooked on the same grill as the meat, right? In the same grease? Just thought I'd mention that.

Hostage Negotiations

2009-11-18T01:02:00.000-05:00

I've been watching the Canadian series Flashpoint recently... about Toronto's SRU... and I've come to the conclusion that I'd never make it as a SWAT team negotiator. I mean seriously, what the hell is with all the namby pamby 'make a connection' negotiations? Here's how I would negotiate with a hostage taker.

"Sir, I understand you're upset about something and have taken drastic measures to get what you want, but I need you to take a deep breath and listen to me very carefully. It's very important that you let me say my peace, and not interrupt... ok?"

At this point, hopefully, the idiot does as asked, and I would continue with:

"There are three ways this can go down... One, you can continue to act like a raving nut, threatening to injure or kill your hostages. In that case, we kill you. Two, you actually do injure or kill a hostage. Again, we kill you. Three, you put the weapon down and walk out peacefully. In that case, we arrest you, and take you to jail."

One would hope at this point, the idiot has realized he has only two choices... death or jail. If not...

"Sierra One, Scorpio."

Why play stupid games that prolong the situation and put innocent civilians in harms way longer. Just kill the frakker, save the hostages, time, effort, and money. Is that too harsh?

- Dave

Question The First

2009-11-09T18:50:00.000-05:00

I have a question for Federal employees, the office/cubicle farm dwelling kind:

At home, do you have a servant who comes and wipes your ass and flushes the toilet for you after a onesey or a twosey?

I'll tell you why I ask...

I work security in a government office building. Often when I'm doing my interior patrols, I come across unflushed toilets still containing urine, crap, and/or crap covered toilet paper. It's certainly not my job to flush them, and neither is it really the job of the daytime cleaning staff. So I wonder, who exactly do these people figure is going to do it for them? The shit fairy?

What boggles my mind even further, is that it's mostly women who are the worst offenders! Seriously, ladies? WTF?

So if you're one of these people who do this, I have a favor to ask... either flush the gorram toilet, or hold it till you get home. No one needs to see yesterday's lunch floating around the bowl.

- Dave

PSA

2009-11-06T15:53:00.000-05:00

I have two things to say at this particualr time. There's no specific reason for me saying them, other than I feel they need to be said...

1- Common sense is far from common.

2- Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

End of Public Service Announcement.

- Dave

Addendum

2009-11-05T20:06:00.000-05:00

It has just been brought to my attention that my center is more melty than chewy, and the possibility exists that I am often quite sarcastic.

Thank you, that is all.

- Dave

Been A While

2009-11-05T19:43:00.002-05:00

It's been a very long time since I last even thought about writing anything in a blog. To say I've become somewhat jaded in the intervening time is probably an understatement. I've giving up caring what others think of me... besides my family and close friends... and I've found that it's allowed me to become somewhat Leary-esque.

Let me explain. I now have a tendency to tell it like it is. To point out the lack of common sense in the world around me. To make fun of all the people Darwin will hopefully be claiming come the next day/week/month/year/etc...

But then again, maybe I'm not the hardass I think I am. Maybe I have a hard bastard coating but a soft chewy center?

- Dave

Here We Go

2005-11-04T14:02:00.000-05:00

Well, this is kind of a first for me, so please bear with me. I written blogs before at FireflyFans.net in my profile, but never in a space specifically designed for blogs only.

How to start? It hasn't been the best year for me thus far.

On the negative side: So far I've lost my great uncle, my father, a good friend & excellent employee at work, and one of my best friends just recently lost his mother-in-law.

On the positive side: I've recently become a father again. My six year old daughter, Caitlyn, now has a baby brother, Connor. He was born October 24th @ 7:50pm, and weighed in @ 6lbs 14oz. Until I can find a place to host some images for me, you can see a pic of him here.

I definitely have my family & friends to thank for sticking by my side, through good & bad, and helping me get this far. Bags, Hicks, GBW, BobNSam, Soul, Fredep, and of course my Mei-Mei, Robyn, have all been indespensible. (real names witheld to protect the innocent) ;-) I must also mention all the Browncoats from Fireflyfans who gave me their kind words without hesitation.

Let's see... is there anything else rambling around in my brain, waiting to pop out. I could moan about work, but seeing as as I'm at work while writing this... I'd better not take the time to go into that.

All for now. More to come I hope.

-Dave